when CHAPALANG things come tgt!

life have been rather hectic for me these few days! will be over real soon! <3 jiayou peoplee! do not want to elaborate much but these few days are contributing to my memories too..

recently, i went for my jab. and my arm is still aching! ): even carrying laptop is a chore! haih! the doctor is funny though, he kept saying well done puaysee while the needle is still in me.. den he even ask me not to look at the needles! i almost want to cry out when he took out the needles. is super pain. not trying to be funny here, u go try tt needle urself! after that, he asked if i wan a cartoon plaster or a normal one.. i told him "the normal ones are fine" with the -.- face..

i need some shopping! it's been some time since i go in and out of the shops to look at things! ): #nolife i love shopping but i hate to carry the things. is SUPER HATE tt kind.. if only doremon exist, and he may bring some helper into my life..

haven been able to sleep well these few nights.. kept sleeping at timing like 4am.. was bored and was doing some day dreaming.. if only i have super steady, forever bored, forever suffering from insomnia friends.. then i can text/call/twitter/fb saying IM BORED. den super steady go out chill/supper at 3am in the night. i dun mind walking leh! so long as got people accompany me! heeee. forever insomnia friends, whr r u?

i rmb my first insomnia, i can even create a whole story and text peabrain.. tsk. den end up he slping like some PIG.. idiot, den when im slping he reply say "nice story!" id10t!

ok la, nth much abt my life alrdy. next week will be more happening I GUESS.

there are some inspiring picture, some happie picture, some saddening pictures, some fun moments, and some super lame pictures below.

my ANNCHEE whatsapp me this picture. i dun quite understand wad tt orange thing was until i read the words. then i smiled. true, i will have to pick myself up and carry on.. no one is gg to die without me. no one is gg to stop smiling without me. the sun will still rise from the east and fall from the west. nothing will change. if i dun move on in life, i will nvr enter a new chapter so as to end with a "happily ever after".

even in fairytales, happily ever after only happens after all the dramas.

i am able to type this entire chunk of words, it is all up to me to practise wad i preach now.. (:

alright, this screenshot really makes me :D IM NOT SHORT. (proven) heeheehee! peabrain is AWESOME for once! :D

if u are thinking im trying to take a picture of the date or the PAUSE/BREAK, u are WRONG! MY LAPTOP CRACKED! super sad. ):

chanced upon this picture on facebook! HAHAHAH! i was like OMGGGG! it's damn cool! good things must share!

went out for dinner w family during the weekends! we tried the suki-ya. it's 19.90++/person. buffet. ok la.. 19.90 cnt expect so much right.. the cheesemeatball scalded my brother!

my brother REFUSED to take photo with me ))))):

then the next day or smth, we went to send our cousin off! she gg korea to climb mountain -.-" at swensens! my brother STILL REFUSED to take photo w me! )))):

look at the photo below! my hair loook like gt white hair! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

highlight of the day! ICE-cream! ice-cream just makes me happie! :D

FOC aangry bird. nt a fan of angrybird. but i describe my feelings by saying "super angrybird now" or "angry like an angrybird now" when im angry! HAHAH

curled my hair recently temporary. hahah! it went straight again after i wash my hair. hahah! i even thought of curling my hair for cny. like new hairstyle.. but after tt few hours, i backed out. the curl is nice but i look like aunty. why like tt?! ):

it's okay. done w blogging. promised to be back asap!

im tired of blogging leh.. wad if i close my blog.. JK!

First & Last post on my (M)

i promise this post is not short. there will not be any picture.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ul-qJPXSrY0

this guy in the video above is called MINHUA.. idk who he is at all. chance upon his video after my friend shared it on facebook.. honestly, im not paying attention to his video at all. but idk why, but when at 2:58 tt part there, i click the wrong tab and i saw him smiling. fate? my heart sank. how can anyone's smile look exactly like his?

i rewind the video and watched it again. he smiled a couple of times. i covered his eyes and nose, leaving behind his smile. his smile is almost the same as M's. hence, for the past few night, i watched the video before i slp. yes, im mad. i admit my heart still race for him.

even just now on channel5, mission impossible. when the lady called "matthew", i stopped wadever im doing and turned my head.. idk wad am i expecting also. not like as if he's standing outing my house..

can i start my story from really the start?

this guy, im all ready to spend my remaining life with, left couple of years back. tt year when im in sec2, december15, he left. should i agree to go with him, how will my life be now?

after his departure, we emailed each other almost everyday. till whatsapp comes along. wadever app there is to connect me to people in another country, i will dwl. den i will tell him, and then we will try the app out! like LINE and some other ulu ulu apps la.

but now, even seeing ur name popping up in my phone is a torture. it took me every ounce of energy to ignore his whatsapp. sometimes, i gave in and replied. to think i still smile over those whatsapp.

these few nights, i reread all the msges. i almost died from all those memories. i plucked up my courage and deleted them all. the moment i touch "delete" i regretted.

tt night when i received the picture of him and her, i broke down. he used to be my pillar, but he left, my world collapse. very exaggerating but i really felt damn helpless den. i couldnt stop those tears of mine. even previous break up didnt cause such tears.

thanks sweetheart for accompanying me tt night. during the weekends, ben and zx bookout. the moment i see them, i couldnt hold my tears any longer again.

subsequents night, my steadyANNCHEE chatted w me through sms.. and when she says smth like "i know you very sad. i can see from ur sms" i cried even harder.

i even hoped tt it was their plan to trick me so as to surprise me. but then, their faces tell me otherwise. then suddenly, everything seemed so real.

idk how i survived school, but one week passed.

then the 2nd week, ben told me another T___T news. i rmb vividly i was on the way to driving. i received his call. my mind went blank. idk how to react to the new information. too much for me to handle. den driving, i couldnt concentrate at all. i barged the red light. should thr be any incoming car, i would have died. but now, im no different from a dead person anyway. in case you wan to know, matthew is becoming a daddy. but im not his kid's mummy. *even typing this sentence, i wan cry*

after my driving, ben brought me for a spin! thanks armyboy! i sat beside him, he damn drama mama. he say wan cry jiu cry dun geng. then i burst out laughing. then, i alrdy no more tears to cry. this guy here is really great. always there for me. any girls want? if not, im keeping for myself. dun bear to give him to another girl lor.

not only do i mind him being daddy, i mind that he didnt tell me personally too.

to forget him, impossible, i still wants the memories. not unless i lose my memory.

to stop loving him, impossible for now.

idk if there is love bet them, it's ok. it's nt the determining factor. i know him, he is responsible. he wun shrink responsibility. tt's my boy. im proud of him for tt. but im only an ordinary person. im selfish too. a part of me wants him to ditch every single responsibility. i wan him to take me away. anywhr. as long as im able to be w him, im fine.

weeks passed, im still trying hard to forget. ben says it's hard. friends say it's not worth. but how can i control my heart?

but im trying really hard now, i promise. if i made it there and the next guy tt appear in my life, i swear im gg to love him sincerely. im going to be honest w him about matthew. i will say he is in my heart, but he is just a friend. a friend tt im prolly not gg to depend on anymore.

for now, im not ready to give them my blessing yet.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfXGo_lCiS4&ob=av3e

When I close my eyes I think of you

And the times we've had been through

Even though we're far apart right now

I remember back when you were here with me

How you've made my world complete

But now I'm left alone

We talked about love and hope

Wishing we could start a life our own

I wish that I could live without you

# Why did you tear my heart apart

You said you'd love me from the start

All those painful things you've put me through

But I'm still loving you

I've tried to give my best to you

I don't deserve the things you do

Everything has gone to memories

I just wish I knew the truth behind the lies

im done ranting. dont judge me. this is my lifestory. idk how i survived tt few weeks. but i did. at the lowest point of my life, im glad i have all those friends tt kept by my side. im willing to type all these out should show tt im recovering well, i guess. but do me a favor pls, dont ask me face to face abt this or talk about it. yes by all means talk behind my back for being an attention seeker to type all these, act one devoted. it's okay. im fine w it. it's my blog wad. im not ashamed abt my life.

tell me, how many of you can relate to me? have ur love of ur life entered the other phase of life without you? if yes, pls tell me. let's cry tgt.. if not, try putting urself in my shoes pls. tyvm.

My promise 1

Quite a number of people have been asking me abt M..

I promise, i will have one post abt wad happened bet M and me..

Im tired of having to explain over and over again. )':

So i can say, "hey go read my blog"

Save me my saliver and heartaches

P/s: thanks for the concerns friends. Im still on the road to accepting the fact.

Already Famous + 85

hello! im done with the LAST MST in my life.. idk if i should be happie or not.. im prolly gg to be ashamed of myself after getting back the papers.. ): ah, heck, it's over anyway.. no point crying over spilled milk.. might as well go NTUC buy new milk better right? *optimistic*

well, so after MST, huimin, jiahui, kengling, xiuhui, yuya and ME went to catch ALREADY FAMOUS.. the journey was rather epic, it was like we were on a race to see which is the earliest timeslot and the only transportation is MRT! there wasnt a timeslot whr we can fit the movie and the free starbucks tgt! so we search the entire singapore movie theatre for a suitable timeslot. then we cant find any.. we settled for vivo's 440pm movie though! but when we have decided on it, we were alrdy at rafflesplace! :O so we made a U-turn!

then i started complaining how hungry i was! i woke up at 945 and drank one mouth of milo.. so hungry tt im gg to die..

at vivo, none of the girls wan to accompany me take photos w ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS! )))): so i take alone, like sad only.. see my awkward smile below! cos thr a kid's taking photo w it too.. LOL. any kind soul wan to watch ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS 3 with me??? lonely soul here wants to watch leh!

wahh im getting really detailed. im bored and i wan to type ma! time not up to go out yet! pls skip this entire chunk and scroll down for the pictures! *wink*

den finally go buy our food! actually we were all pretty hungry lor, not me only.. den went to giant to buy chips for movie later! and my pink dolphin(: afterwhich we went to lepak outside vivo awhile den we go for movie lo! the movie was 2 hours long.. we were 4th row from the front.. my neck.. our necks.. i find some parts of the movie funny leh!

then xiuhui was like saying "xiao gui will say 你可以当我生命中的女主角啊" then the next sentence xiaogui says was really that! the entire chunk tt xiaogui says was rather touching leh! his confession, even though it is only reading from the script, but still very touching leh.. i will marry the one on the spot that says tt to me leh. even if it's through the phone, still very AHHHHH best confession ever! no flowers no fanciful gifts, just sincerity! <3

*back to reality* no one will so mushy and say that.. fairytale dream broken..):

after the movie, we went to 85 MARKET for bakchormeeeee! craves! we ordered bakchormee each, 2 stingrays (v hot!), satays, ngor hiung( im correct this time), orh luat and sugarcanes! we were so hungry that we didnt take pictures of all the food.. forever hungry.. i like the "ambiance" at 85 despite crowded, bbq smell, stuffy, hot, nt v clean.. i dont need fine dining (maybe once in a while is good though). just at places like 85, with my friends, still feeling v comfortable (': eh wait, im a singaporean wad.. wad u expect me to eat? -.- idk why am i explaining this also..

after tt, it was rather late considering the girls live at places like woodlands, bukitpanjang and clementi.. so we headed homeeee!

occasionally, inter-clique outing like this is healthy too! ((: alright, from being early, im running late now.. haven start preparing.. :O

so enjoy the pictures!

erm, the pictures are of really bad quality.. bad lighting + use front camera.. but still can make up who is who.. enjoyyy!

ohhh the video at the last is really random.. JUST SAYING HI!

it's 9th dec 2011, our ahtiong gang's zhenxing go army alrdy! one less supper kaki! )))))): anyway, take care and protect our nation! (:

Screws, screwdrivers, hammers, etc

My gut feeling was right.. Not only do i screw my paper, my classmates (or maybe the cohort) screwed the paper too. I screwed my pretty badly. ): *sigh* im not a IT person. I use my com to facebook twitter blog and stalk people only. As to how the system work, DONT ASK ME.. Till now i only know TPS is transaction processing system and tan puay see. -.-

Well, it's over anyway right?

P/s: since the cohort are doing badly(hopefully), i hope the bell curve god (if u follow stomp) does his/her job well. Idw to fail and repeat one more yr for IS.. RT @HOHOMEGABURGER "IS - Irritating Shit"

It was quite comforting to see all the F word appearing in twitter after e paper. Im not gloating (i screwed my too), it juz makes me feel tt im not alone. One for all, all for one! Wan fail all fail tgt. DAC02 huat ar! :p *touch wood*

tml's MA, one chapter, but dun play w me. Past yr paper so far so good. Pls leh..

Yay! Looking forward to thurs's outing after MST w e girls!

(glad tt im using iphone and can blog as and when i feeel like!) so be my faithful reader!

If u read this sentence, i love you! Cos u read all the wordyy words from e top till here! Muackks!

DAC02, jiayou! Our last mst tgt alrdy <3

11:11

It says 11:11am now on my phone!

Mst week is here. And it's the time i pay the price for not paying attention in class. ): every tests or exams, i nvr fail to promise myself i will work hard the next sem. And it nvr happens after the last paper. I wan to turn back time. To the days when studying aint a chore, when hmwk is a must. Now, it the opposite.

BRAIN, Y U NO become smarter as i grow older?

11:11, naively i wished tt IS tml will be fine. But my guts feeling tells me otherwise.

my STEADY & ahtiong Gathering

recently on the 29nov2011, the ahtiong gang is out on a mission again to SIMPANG BEDOK for supper! more of such outings are encourage! we met at 930, we reached home at 1230. 3 hours are short, but the memories' lifespan aint going to be that short. i may even be holding onto these memories until my last breath. well, we are all made up of memories right? (dun correct me by saying tt we are made up of 70% water in our body, i will prolly juz roll my eyes at you).

annchee, eric, pamela, zhenxing and me know each other since primary5, when we were still short ones with kuku hairstyle.. now, we grew taller and with more stylo milo hairstyle! [changes are the only thing in this world that nvr change] , hence i really hate changes. sometimes, i envy the trees, they get to stay by the side of their loved ones until one gets uproots. otherwise, they are 24/7 with each other's side...

ah sidetrack, back to topic! so i was actually watching MAMA and it was SUPERJUNIOR talking over the mic when im supposed to be leaving the hse. coincidentally, saw zhenxing at the busstop (yay to NO LONELY bus rides).. so we went down to meet annchee and pam and eric! we had supper and updated on the most recent happening.

chats chats chats.. photos photos photos.. i woke up at 6am tt day and im kind of very tired.. energy level running really low. so otw home, we went to find one void deck with tables to camwhore! afterwhich, we walk home.. throughout the journey, i know pam, eric and zhenxing were chatting at the back while ac walk by me, but my mind is blank, i cant hear a thing tt they are talking other than me telling myself, WALK FASTER AND YOU CAN GO HOME BATHE AND SLP.. i think my leg grew 20 cm tt period and i walk really fast.. *damn zai*

then zx and i say bye bye to them while they continue they way homeee!

(peeeektures time)

p/s: this is the last time you see zx with hair! to-be-army boy soon!

it's the official opening of ps-trc.bs! *claps claps* my steadyANNCHEE, created the background for me! that is very nice of her! she just break camp and she work on my blog for me! (': *grateful* i love her since idk when, but recent events makes us even closer, even stronger bonds. We undergo really similar encounters. we lost people that we love in the same period, we lost our friend tgt, we got spammed tgt, we got scolded tgt, we scold x tgt, we chat late into the night tgt, we have dinner tgt almost once a week to catch up.. it is really not easy to maintain a friendship, but we can see the effort that both of us made for each other during those times to meet for a chat.. i promise, as long as you are trying, im staying (: